Until I Find You
by Anguish of My Love
Summary: Sequel to 'For Tonight' The thought of Blondie hating him scared him beyond belief. That meeting at the bar made him believe in the love found in books and movies and he didn't want to spoil that dream. Kogan.


Disclaimer: I didn't have enough money to buy Logan. I'm thinking of selling my soul instead to see if it's any worth. I'll get back to you on that.

**12/20/11: Edited the whole thing, though still the same. Just made it a little longer and hopefully made it look less rushed than it did before.**

* * *

><p>i fought to the limit to stand on the edge<br>what if today is as good it gets?  
>don't know where the future's headed<br>but nothing's gonna bring me down  
><strong>no boundaries<strong>

o1o

Logan really, truly wanted to find Blondie again. Except that the night he went to the bar was a time dangerously close to finals (He went there to unwind, honestly. It wasn't as if he meant to attach himself to a stranger. He wasn't that kind of person. Except something in his gut told him that there was something about the blonde, but maybe that had been the alcohol.) and it wasn't as if he knew just where Blondie was.

When Logan took breaks from studying, he considered the thought of searching for him. He'd wondered what would happen if he went to MSU, if fate liked him and Blondie would come walking down the hallway like a dream (and, shit, that sounded so horrifyingly sappy he literally cringed). Or if he'd be walking around in circles not being able to ask people because it would just make him feel stupid.

He didn't really go out of the way to search for Blondie, because the fear of disappointment weighed heavy in his mind. But his hopes were high and he allowed himself to dream about finding the blonde again, and allowed himself to want a repeat of that night (and possibly more).

That was why he believed it was a sign when he was invited to a conference his teacher was going to be in. Mr. Rosette had taken a liking to Logan and he said that he might learn from the talk, that the experience would help him at the least. It was in MSU and Logan tried to contain his excitement. It didn't matter to him that it was happening a month after that night. Logan believed Blondie will still remember him.

That night had been special and Logan hoped that he wasn't stupid believing Blondie might still want to know him.

o2o

Kendall didn't know where to look. He knew next to nothing about the guy he met at the bar. Knowing that the man was a Pre-Med student was as useful to him as, say, finding out that he loved the color orange. He was sure that the brunette didn't study at his college (unless he was purposely avoiding Kendall). He'd learn to ignore the looks the students gave him by the third day he looked around the classrooms.

He tried the bar and perhaps the reason he was never there was because finals week was just two weeks away but it didn't make the betrayal hurt any less. He'd tried going every night, but when it was starting to affect college, especially at such a crucial time, he had to stop. He couldn't help but wonder if maybe the guy went there at hours before Kendall went, or maybe after, or if he'd found time to when Kendall couldn't afford to go any longer.

For a distinct amount of time, Kendall was sure he'd gone crazy. He wanted so much to find the smaller man that he'd almost asked the people working there to look out for him. But what would he have said? _Excuse me, can you look out for a guy about this tall, dark hair, brown eyes, pulls random people to the dance floor and declares he'll love them for the night? Thanks! Here's my number!_ Just thinking about it makes him wonder if maybe he's getting _too_ attached to the stranger. James, his roommate and maybe-possibly-not-quite-sure-yet close friend, thinks he might be.

Thoughts like that make him try to forget him and move on to a much more realistic mindset. But it doesn't last long when he remembers the night and the gentleness of the brown eyes, the sweetest, most attractive smile, the soft and passionate voice, every damn thing about brunette, and the hopeless romantic in him thinks that it's meant to be. He'd been forced to be an adult at eight so screw rationality and common sense, he was allowed to dream.

o3o

Sense started to catch up to Logan when two weeks—one week and five days—had passed since he met Blondie. He still (really, really) wanted to find Blondie, but he also started to realize that just because he wanted to didn't mean Blondie wanted to be found. He didn't know anything about the 'jock' and one special night didn't bind them forever—if _at all_. They met at a _bar_ and neither of them were fully—or possibly even—sober. A night of magic and love and fate between strangers hardly made sense in reality, much less between two inebriated people.

He remembered the sincerity and adoration in the blonde's eyes but he knew there was still a possibility that Blondie, himself, had already (or at the least, mostly) forgotten about him. And Logan can admit that a part of him was scared that the two of them won't get along with the lack of alcohol.

Logan had never been good at socializing. He wasn't completely socially awkward, but he'd grown up being a wallflower. He had a tendency of keeping to himself when he's not with a friend. He didn't know if Blondie was as open as when he was drunk and he wasn't about to stereotype him just because he was into sports. But there was a chance that they wouldn't get along and that made something twist in his stomach.

The thought of Blondie hating him scared him beyond belief. That meeting at the bar made him believe in the love found in books and movies and he didn't want to spoil that dream.

But all that, the hesitancy and fear didn't completely erase the need to see Blondie again. He wasn't going to search for Blondie in MSU (but there was a part of Logan that felt that maybe he should, and maybe on the day, he wouldn't be able to ignore that urge) but he wasn't going to run away if he did see him.

Logan even bothered wondering if he'd be able to keep himself from running _towards_ him and kissing all the longing away.

o4o

Kendall wasn't losing hope, not really. Granted, hope was a very different thing from faith. He could hope all he wanted, it didn't mean he had faith that he would find the smaller man again. But even if he didn't believe he would meet him again as much as he did before, Kendall wished and wanted and prayed that he would just as much as he did before, if not more. There had been times when James asked him why his eyes sparkled like the stars and Kendall had to wince (but the tall man also asked him where all the hair from his eyebrows came from in the same voice so Kendall usually ignored him).

It was probably stupid, desiring so much to be able to talk to the man once more. Especially because even Camille, who was as female as the romantic department went, had stopped asking about 'Hottie' (_"I trust your judgment on his looks, even if you _had_ been intoxicated, and it's so much better than calling him That Bar Guy."_) a week ago. But, to be fair, he could be much more of a girl than Camille really was more often than not. Because boyish charm and a natural born leader aside, he liked pink smoothies, not-girly hand gestures, and walks in the beach under the stars.

There were still times he went to the bar, and there were still times he looked across a place to search for faux-hawked hair. He didn't really think he'd find him again, but Kendall liked hoping he would. Disappointment came less and less, and he stopped mentioning the brunette after sixteen days but there were times he zoned in the middle of the day, wondering if maybe he was anywhere near Kendall.

It was times like that that gave James leverage over their which-one-is-more-made-to-be-a-girl arguments and that was half the reason he stopped talking about him.

o5o

"So today's the big day, huh?"

Logan grinned lopsidedly at the cashier handing him his lunch for the day.

Carlos wasn't referring to Blondie because he didn't know about the man. He didn't tell the shorter man about the bar, never mentioned it to anyone else, because he felt that it was something he could keep for himself. It was insane feeling possessive of a man he didn't really know, but he liked thinking Blondie was just for himself, as stupid as that notion was.

But he had talked to the Latino about how Mr. Rosette was known in the field of microbiology and Carlos knew how he 'gets hard for science' (And, okay, that was incredibly obscene and _totally_ pushing it, okay? He didn't _literally_ get erections for those kinds of things, whatever Carlos or anyone else said.) and how big of an opportunity this was. Logan didn't mention the talk a lot but he told Carlos enough times for him to know that it was important.

"So that means I'll definitely _not_ see you later?" Carlos' face morphed into a pout and Logan knew the fidgeting he did on his apron was only half-fake. "Aww," the server added for a measure.

Logan chuckled and tucked the plastic under his arm. "Sorry, Carlitos," he sympathized. "I know Friday afternoons are the dead hours but you know how microorganisms and cells get me going."

The exasperation Carlos displayed then was a complete act and Logan chuckled again.

He and Carlos weren't exactly close friends, but between days Carlos' shift included him as a waiter, and mornings and afternoons of bonding over pasta and fries, Logan wouldn't mind knowing Carlos out of the restaurant and hanging out with him on free days.

Logan could see how catastrophic their friendship would be outside the restaurant, could tell they'd argue about the most petty things and create more mayhem than Logan could possibly ever do (and that doesn't say much, really, because even though Logan is so much more comfortable in his skin now, that doesn't mean he's all that much more outgoing), but he knew how _fun_ it would be, and he had to wonder how it would be like if he knew Blondie and bonded with him, wonder if his smile was normally as free as it had been before, if he and Carlos would connect (because Carlos told him he had a good judgment of character, but he had yet to see very concrete proof of it).

"Yeah, whatever, you'd probably die of coming from the overload of information and you'd totally deserve it." Carlos glared at him for a moment before his Carlos smile resurfaced again. "You definitely owe me two lunches for putting a _science talk_ over me."

Logan rolled his eyes and said, "because you're obviously worth two lunches," with Carlos replying a mocking 'duh', both of them knowing that Logan would probably buy him those free meals anyway.

The door of the restaurant opened and he stepped away from the counter for the other customers—two women and a boy—Carlos shouting a goodbye that left most of the (few) people inside starting up. Logan left the restaurant with an easy smile and imagined how Carlos would react if he knew that half the reason he's going to the talk is because of a drunk man he met at a bar while he himself was half-inebriated.

o6o

Kendall had to wonder if this was a dream.

Because if it honestly was, this was the part where he would run up to the man he was staring at and engulf him with kisses, or the said man would turn around and see him, going up to _him_ and declaring he'd always been looking for the blonde. The world would disappear around them and everything would be perfect.

Or the man would confess to him that Kendall meant nothing and he'd break down crying on the cracking ground and fall to an endless pit.

None of these things were happening right now, except for the cafeteria and all the college students in it blurring into the background. Kendall pinched himself and had to turn around and control his hyperventilating. He'd barely gotten five breaths in when frantic hands suddenly scrambled at his shoulders and Kendall blinked at the ground, remembering that James went to the cafeteria with him, that they were fighting for Kendall's wallet (and the owner belatedly realized that it was still on James' hand, or in James' pocket, whatever) before Kendall caught a glimpse of a brunette head.

"Dude, what's wrong with you?" Kendall blinked up, his panic no longer obvious. "What are you looking at?"

Kendall yelped when James turned back to the (_still so gorgeous_, Kendall had to think) young man he had been gaping at, the taller ignoring Kendall's anxiousness. He furrowed at the gray cardigan and what looked like a red shirt facing them because he didn't recognize the student that was eating. He'd known Kendall for three years and he had never once seen this guy.

James turned back to his friend. "Do you know him?" he asked.

Kendall didn't answer instantly. He bit his lip and hesitantly looked at the side. "I don't," he answered finally, hating hearing himself that. He wondered what it would've been like if he knew him already. Would they be close? Would they be dating? Would the brunette even _like_ him?

James had to raise an eyebrow at the palpability of the blonde's longing. He surreptitiously looked back at the small figure before scrutinizing the one in front of him.

"Well, okay, then," he announced cheerfully and Kendall narrowed his eyes suspiciously. He was not disappointed when James grabbed his wrist and dragged him towards the table his (Wait, not his!) brunette was occupying, his struggling and protests ignored.

o7o

Logan sat back on his seat and smiled at the blonde—_Kendall_, his name was Kendall—needing a moment to just soak him in. Logan almost didn't believe that he'd see the man again. Had actually thought he wouldn't stumble upon him. But of course Blondie would find him again, because Logan was the one who spotted him in the bar and now it was his turn to notice him.

He couldn't believe how good it was to be able to look at Kendall again. He looked so much better than he remembered and that was stupid, he was sober now, he would naturally look better.

"I actually came here because my teacher had a talk and he invited me to come with him," he admitted to the taller man.

Kendall's face fell and something bloomed in Logan's chest. He laughed like he couldn't believe how just being with Kendall could make him so happy and he wondered if maybe Blondie felt the same. (He didn't, not really. He already knew how being with the other would make him feel like he was on cloud nine.)

Logan twirled pesto around his fork and smiled fondly behind it when he raised the utensil, knowing that some of the affection he felt for him that drunken night hadn't left him at all. "But half the reason why I agreed immediately was because it was happening in MSU," he muttered conspiringly. He put down his hand so the 'athlete' could see the full extent of his grin. "I didn't expect to find you but I hoped."

Kendall smirked at him. "Couldn't stay away from me, huh?"

Logan scoffed at him. He questioned the heavens, not for the first time, how it could be so easy to be with him even though they weren't really close. He drank from the iced tea he bought from one of the stalls and closed his eyes to savor the cold taste.

When the brunette opened his eyes again, he gazed at Kendall to see him looking back and forth between his hand and a random spot on the table. Logan's face pinched for about three seconds before his eyes widened he relaxed again. He mentally mocked himself at the clichédness and at how _impossibly_ easy he found everything about Kendall was.

He moved his hand closer towards the other's and wrapped his fingers around the palm, smile getting impossibly bigger when he felt him squeeze back.

o8o

Whether or not Kendall melted was arguable. James told him that he had and he wasn't gratifying the pretty boy with either a denial or an admittance (though the way that was phrased possibly hinted that he did, in fact, melt).

He didn't know if the fondness he felt for the other man had been leftovers of their previous meeting or if it had sparked when they met again. It didn't matter to him though, because whatever the cause was for those emotions didn't change the fact that he did meet the brunette again and that the latter did want to see him too. A lot of his anxiety vanished after talking to him and he was so inexplicably happy to be able to, especially when they're both sober and Kendall had no fear of alcohol impairing their normal thoughts.

It made him all the happier at the thought of seeing him again.

"Will you leave me behind now that you found the love of your life, Ken doll?" James teased him. "I can't believe you're gonna leave me for Hottie."

Kendall glared at him, but he couldn't really find it in him to be the least bit annoyed, especially at James, because he was the one who pushed Kendall to the man. "Shut up, James. And his name's—"

Shit.

All the elation disappeared from his face because, god_dammit_, he can't believe that he didn't find out the name of the man. If he didn't give Kendall his name, then what if that meant that he was planning to meet up with Kendall again? He found out the blonde's name (even if it had been through James) but he didn't give Kendall his own. Perhaps he just forgot.

Whatever the reason didn't really matter though, because now that he thought about it, how were they even going to find each other again? The man knew Kendall studied at MSU, but he didn't know the schedule. Kendall found out things about the brunette, but not the kind that would help him find him.

James watched as his entire countenance dropped and Kendall dug his fists into his pockets. The air around him was heavy and brooding. That is, until something crumpled against his skin.

He opened the paper he found in his jeans and his heart thudded when he saw a cluster of numbers written across it. Underneath them was a note that said, _Hey, do you want to meet by the bar?_ Kendall ignored James' questions and suspicions, and stared hard beneath the message, where, in bigger handwriting, the name _Logan_ greeted him.

o9o

Logan's cell phone beeped from his hand and he took a moment to look at it and gave a reply.

"Oh, is it the boyfriend again?" Carlos welcomed him with a washcloth in his hand and Logan's order on the other. "He's finally coming home from that vacation?"

Logan grinned at him. "Who else would it be?" he answered, "and I already told you when he's coming back before, idiot, but you were probably ogling the corndog stand that passed by."

Carlos laughed and slid across the chair facing him. It had been weeks of dating when Logan finally submitted to the urge and told the employee that he was seeing Kendall and ended up talking everything about the man to him, including the eventful meeting in the bar.

He didn't know how long it had actually been before he told Carlos, but Logan had gotten his wish and the two had become legitimate close friends. And if there was one thing Logan wasn't, it was someone who kept things from his friends.

"Sometimes I still wonder why you're gay. You look like the kind of guy who'd want a white picket fence and 2.5 kids with the perfect wife."

"I still like girls, Carlitos," Logan reminded him, "I just like guys, too. And I don't understand how I can't have that with a man, either. I just have to go to New York or Canada so I can get that marriage you want me to have so much."

Carlos snorted. "Already planned your future, Logester? Man, you're really committed to this relationship, aren't you?"

Logan rolled his eyes and finally took a bit from his chicken. His stomach had been grumbling for a while now, having stayed a little late in school trying to finish his project. He loved that he never got tired eating here no matter how frequent he went to the restaurant. "Shut up."

Carlos looked like he wanted to rib Logan more but they both heard a sharp, "Garcia, get back here!" from the kitchen.

He threw an apologetic look at Logan and the latter responded by shooing him with a smile. Carlos ran to the employee's door with a stumble and thankfully no (more) accidents. Logan gave a soft chuckle and took a few more bites before pulling out his phone and reading again the message he received earlier.

_can't wait to see you!_  
><em>love you so much logie :")<em>

* * *

><p>I'm SO sorry it took me so long. I've just been distracted by so many things and the first version of this was horrible, didn't really want to continue it half the time. I finally got around to revising the whole thing last, last week (yus, still distracted by then and afterward).<p>

I'm not completely satisfied with this either but I like it a lot more than the old version. I'm sorry for their overly sappy feelings and thoughts and how girly they are in this 'verse (especially Kendall). Also, this is for **Miracle of Oracles**,** MythoBoy**, and** gleechild** who asked for a continuation. Hope you guys like it!


End file.
